Name of Hospital: Arabella House
City, State/Province, Country: Naperville, Illinois, USA
Number of Stars: 1
Comment: The groups at Arabella House are absolutely horrifying. On my first day there, the therapist immediately pressured me to share intimate details about my trauma. when I didn’t, they told me that I would need to toughen up & that the next day in group I better talk about it. Every single day I tried so hard to find the courage to talk about my trauma in the kind of detail the other patients did. Everyday, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t trust anyone there, it didn’t feel safe.
The therapists got more and more angry with me every day. They started to yell at me. They would tell me, “you’re not trying.” And “if you’re not going to care about your recovery, you will have to leave.” I constantly told them and showed them how hard I was trying. They based my progress off of how much I shared in group. Nothing, in their eyes. Everyday I would cry and no one cared.
I felt very left out, and one day I decided to voice that. All the patients became personally offended, and yelled at me. The therapist yelled at me, told me I was being immature. I cried alone in the bathroom for hours. They didn’t care.
They made me see a trauma therapist. He was a man and we had therapy in the basement. When I told him I was scared of him bc basements are triggering and men are too, he yelled at me and said I was being a baby. Literally. He said, “stop being such a baby.” I swore to myself every time I met with him that I would open up bc every time I didn’t he would yell at me and tell me I was never going to get better. But I would get scared and go mute. One day he told me I was a hopeless lost cause and I was gonna die traumatized and never heal. I freaked out, slammed the door to my room & sobbed. No one cared. Then they yelled at me for being upset. Said it was my fault and that I wasn’t trying.
What else? They made me have family sessions with my abusive family. The therapist constantly took my mom’s side. She told me I was being irrational. That my horribly abusive mother does so much for me and that I’m ungrateful. Etc.
Eventually, they decided that there was something wrong with me and they made me get some psych eval. Tests came back & said I was psychotic. I was livid. after they diagnosed me with psychosis, it was my label. Everything I said was met with, “that’s the psychosis talking.” It made no sense & was extremely inaccurate.
after this hell, I was left an extremely suicidal mess. I told them I was suicidal and afraid. They said, “you can leave whenever you want to.” I said ???? They said “you aren’t trying. You can leave. We don’t want you here if you’re not trying.” They almost discharged me to my death. I decided to stay. Worst choice ever.
The night staff member sprayed holy water on us while we slept.
I could go on. Those things are only the tiniest parts of the hell that was Arabella house. It was an extremely traumatizing environment. I was there for my eating disorder and I left with a whole new set of problems.
Type of program (i.e. day program, inpatient): Residential
Year(s) : 2014